absence makes the heart grow fonder...

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.
-Richard Bach

As the title suggest absence makes the heart grow fonder [beware the sappiness].

Today, I went to my [old] high school football game where I saw many classmates from just a few months prior. The excitement of everyone was evident but then for some, things almost felt forced as though I had an obligation to say hello, just because they were a part of the last four years of my life.

However, with others [to my amazement] things felt as if things had never changed. Almost as though it was just a weekend and there we were back together on Monday morning. For the most part I thought things wouldn't be that way. Even though we all say the words that "we'll be friends forever!" and "OMG, we have to hang out when you come home!"...& my personal favorite "you're not that far we'll always chill!" We say these words because it's the norm. It's just what you say. I don't think people would really like it if everyone was honest with each other and said "hey, you know it's been a good few years but I doubt I'll ever really see you again...but maybe at a reunion." Now, words like that would be the truth.

However, there are the few where you swear those words will always remain true. Because there are just certain friends in your life who were sent to you for a reason [sorry if i'm getting cheesy] and you just can't imagine your life without them. For the most part we don't really know who they are, or appreciate them as much as we should until they're gone. Until you're friendship is really challenged, especially with distance, and even though we are the technology generation it's still hard to keep in touch. But you know things will always be how they are when after months of not seeing each other, and hardly really talking, like they way you did back in high school [i'm talking like i've been out of high school for years!], and for a few hours you hang out, and it's like nothing has even changed.

There's a certain comfort in that, to know regardless of what life throws at you you'll always have the one's who've never steered your wrong. Who've put up with your strange mannerisms. Have told you time & time again that he's not good enough for you. Ran all those warm up miles. Stolen your food. Told me I was right. And have laughed at all of my horrible jokes. No matter where life has taken me, or where it has yet to lead me. There are the few that will always be not too far behind.

in defense of tabloids

"If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees."

-Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam

OK, let's all admit it, it's something like a guilty pleasure for us all. Secretly [or not so secretly], we all are curious about the lives of celebrities behind closed doors. Why? Who knows, that question for now is entirely irrelevant.

Until recently I was like many others of this world believing that tabloids were just made up gossip and all of its contents were just a fallacy.

However after a [almost] full semester of a journalism class, I realize why that just can't be. First of all, tabloid refers to a format, not content [oh George, you taught us so well] second, if you purposely fabricate your facts to the masses, you'll pay [that's libel, it's more complicated then that.. but just go with it]. Chances are, with your pocket, and a hefty amount at that. third of all, if found out, you risk the chance of losing all credibility. And fourth, perhaps we should all just simply accept the fact that information provided by these tabloids is in fact legitimate [I wouldn't lie].

Let's take the Enquirer for example. Several times they have broken political stories BEFORE mainstream media [like the John Edwards love child scandal]. Hey, we can even go as far as to say that it is journalism in it's purest form. What we all should be doing is, rather than condemning these papers praise them for their efforts. I mean, they too are journalist who work just as hard, if not harder [which from what I could tell is the case] then any journalist out there. There is but only one things these journalist won't do for a story, and that's break the law. These journalist go through the same process as all others when it comes to fact checking, and sources, and law suits. The Enquirer never publishes a story they aren't 100% on, and as I'm told 1/3 of the stories written/pitched are shot down because they aren't concrete enough. Now if that ain't darn good journalism, I don't know what is.

OK, you might all be wondering why I've seen the light and have been converted into a [open]of tabloids, well I must say it's in part to Barry Levine. Editor of the Enquirer, he gave my journalism class a little visit the other day, and what can I say, I am now a believer.

HAHAHA not.

grammar book confused

“We know all too little about the factors that affect the attitudes of the peoples of the world toward one another. It is clear, however, that color and race are at once the most important and the most enigmatic.”
-John Hope Franklin


Now, let it be known that growing up, I attended a grade school [meaning k-8] where diversity was more or less non-existent. In fact, I could probably count the number of minorities on two hands[and that's being generous]. I don't really blame my school for it's lack of diversity, I mean...I liked it, enough...I suppose. However I digress and this, is not the main reason for my blog, though background information is necessary.


So, I graduated from grade school. Nine years, with the same 50 people or so was interesting, to say the least. But now, for me it was time for bigger things, and thus I entered high school. As I went from a graduating class of 50 to a graduating class of 300 I learned a lot about myself and society [since high school is something like a microcosm of the real thing...sort of... hardly... but lets roll with it]. My transition to small to large I thought was going pretty well until one day one of my new peers addressed me with something, and the conversation went something like this:


peer: Why do you talk like that?


me: Like what?


peer: Like a white girl?


and later down the road this conversation would follow:


peer: Why do you act like that?


me: Like what?


peer: Like a white girl?


and finally statements like:


You, are the WHITEST black girl I know!



hmmm...just think about that for a second....


OK, so even though I'm black I speak & act white?


WHAT?


Last I checked, one cannot act or speak a color, and from that moment on conversations, and comments like these would always be my biggest pet peeve! Not only are comments like these ignorant but they're grammatically incorrect [leave it to me to look at the grammatical aspect]. Black & White, are adjectives...not verbs!


OK, so now that I've attacked the English viewpoint lets go back to the ignorance of statements like these. I wondered, and often still wonder what this is supposed to mean. If I am black [I'd much rather say African American, but I'm making a point so I'll let it slide], then by default don't I "act it", and thus "speak like it"?


But no, what these peers of mine were really saying was: Since I use correct grammar often, fail to incorporate slang in my everyday language, articulate my words as I speak, throw in a large word here and there, and not listen to excessive amounts of rap, then I am less black. So, in the way that I carry myself I hold characteristics of that of a white person?


Hold on... So to act white is, in a way is to act educated. That's a provocative, and controversial statement. So, If I offended I'm not going to apologize. I'm just going to say think about how many times you've heard someone say that, and not just "act white" but the vice versa as well to "act black". Statements like these are outrageously offensive and should spark conversation and thought.


And with that being said: I act not white nor black. I act like me because that's who I was raised to be. And to suggest anything other would just be a fallacy. Do not forget this because I WILL correct you.

My life as a double standard

"I have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is. I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat,”

-Rebecca West

Last night I attended a program put into place by the Resident Assistance of my dorm building, on sex, love, relationships, and everything under the umbrella of the three. It was all about asking questions and receiving honest opinions on issues by people my own age. The program was refreshing to really hear what people thought, how they differed from my own standards, beliefs and out looks on love, sex, and relationships.

One reoccurring issue was cheating, the question was..."Is it worse when a woman cheats?"

"WHAT?! OF COURSE NOT" spoke my indignant mind.

My opinion is, "no it's not worse", and I figured every woman in that room would agree with me. Call it my naivete if you will, but I was wrong. To my surprise people did believe it to be worse, but why?

The reason behind it was because when a man hurts, he hurts bad.

And so?...women hurt too, we're just better at bouncing back because unfortunately women are more used to being cheated on then cheating [says the double standard].

Now, let it not be thought that I am condoning the action of cheating, because that is not my purpose. All I'm simply saying is why must double standards continue to arise? Why is it believed that because of my chromosomes I should be stigmatized to act a particular way, do a certain thing, or be thought of as less when my actions mirror that of a male.

Now once again, I'm not saying that I mirror a "stereotypical chauvinistic male persona" in relationships or anything like that [but if I was...who cares?] . However I just don't understand the double standards that society puts into play on a daily basis.

If I choose cheat why can't it be thought of just as bad as when a man does it.

If I so choose to sleep around why can't men be thought in the same light as what I would be considered.

Why is it more surprising when you hear that a woman cheated then a man?

This list could go on forever, but I just don't have that much time. Chances are this is just one of those topics that will have to be revisited time and time again. But until then, I just ask for people to look beyond the gender, and think with your morals, not your genitals. Wrong is wrong no matter how you born.

picture provided by:http://progmanager.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/gender.gif

A Future In Peril

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."
-James Allen

Ever since I let my career dreams be known, all I've heard are the trials and tribulations that I'll go through. How the likelihood of me finding a job will be slim to none. Even before I entered the world of college, I heard these concerns from my parents, my teachers, and sadly some of my friends. After time and time again of why this is what I want with my life my parents, hastily came on board. I had hoped that once I did start college my fears and worries would be put to rest by those who are in the profession. Unfortunately I was wrong.

"JOURNALISM IS DYING!"

Now these words, would you not agree, are the epitome of encouragement. Pardon my sarcasm.

"MAGAZINE JOURNALISM IS ONE OF THE HARDEST CAREERS TO BREAK INTO!"

Even better, my hopes slowly beginning to shatter right before my eyes. My fears arising once more, and here I am in the college game for only two months and I'm already freaking out about the uncertainty of my future!

After a few hours of trying to hush my nightmares and put them back to rest, I , somewhat, got over it. Accepted what people are saying, and came to the realization that it's all on me. Not saying that I was hoping someone would hand me a job on a silver platter and six figures [though it certainly would be nice], but there were certain beliefs that it wouldn't be as hard as my educators and parents were leading me to believe.

The Industry is dying, and so what? Regardless of the "death" of journalism there will always be a need for someone to disseminate information to the masses. People yearn to know what's going on in the world around them...it's called the "awareness instinct"[thanks bill kovach and tom rosenstiel for teaching me that]. And so what, the growth of the Internet has made it harder for the Journalism industry to survive, it's called competition, it's something that as humans we naturally do [someone should let comcast and rupert murdoch in on that].

So I've accepted the fact that my years ahead may be a long, hard journey. However, I'm confident in myself and my skills to break into the industry that I've for so long dreamt about. Therefore, the magazine world[Specifically TIME and National Geographic...hey, I've got big dreams!] better watch out because when I come a knocking, I'll definitely be a force to reckon with.

where did all the music go?

"Without music life would be a mistake."
-Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Quickly approaching as many of us know is the TRL [total request live] finale. For years, or rather for as long as I can remember, and my older siblings, MTV has had minimal amounts of music. So what, some may think...well the "So" is, that for a station whose acronym stands for MUSIC television , why is there minimal amounts of music?

Without TRL one of the last sprinkles of legitimacy MTV can claim for itself what does MTV really have to offer? Well one thing is for sure not music. Thus, from now on I can no longer look forward to sitting uselessly in front of my TV hearing screaming fans, and brand new music, and seeing what music videos will be retired for the day.

Instead of music I can "rely" on MTV to give me a certain amount of "reality" that I just don't get from real life. I mean life would just not be the same without me knowing who Paris's new BFF is going to be, or what the girls on the Hills are doing now, and [here's the kicker] how much spoiled teenagers are now spending on their super sweet sixteen!

So I guess one thing hasn't changed, I can still count on MTV to kill massive brain cells on useless noneducational television. Oh, MTV you've served us well. But seriously, where did all the music go?

R.I.P TRL

parties, red cups, and facebook....OH MY!

“It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense."
-Robert Green Ingersoll

Since the beginning of social networking sites came the even further downfall of common sense. Thus far in my life I've been through four years of high school, and about two months of college, and in these years I, like many of my peers have spent numerous hours on these social networking sites perusing through hundreds of pictures out of sheer boredom. As I peruse I often see pictures of the younger half of my generation with red cups, beer & liquor bottles, and more often then not I just can't help but to be frustrated.

We hear it everyday since the boom of social networking sites, we hear it from our parents, our educators and the media, to be mindful of the things we post online for the world to see. We've been told time and time again of the many people who could have access to our pages, including college admissions, and possible or future employers. And yet, all of this compelling information still does not stop this generation from posting pictures of them drinking, and playing drinking games.

I'd like to ask myself why, but that's just one question that I'll never be able to truly receive an answer to. I just ponder to myself what goes through ones head as they post a picture of them doing something illegal, such as underage drinking.

Now, I must express that my purpose here is not to condemn anyone for their actions. I'm simply here to remind this generation to use the common sense they were given, and my point simply boils down to this one thing: THINK BEFORE YOU POST! and in the end, you may save yourself a world of consequences.

what my history textbook never taught me.

“Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away, and that in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

I once remember a time in grade school, talking about what we want to be when we grow up. Being the ambitious over achiever that I am I responded "The first female African American President of the United States!" my teacher looked at me solomely and responded something to the effects of, "That will never happen your lifetime, let alone my own." Harsh words for a young woman, but why? Why can't I wish big and dream of being president? Years later I'd be able to figure that out. My History book, ever history book I ever came across would certainly be able to shed some light on my shot down dream.

Since the colonization of this nation it would be the same thing, Caucasion male. But this year, perhaps my history books, if they could speak, would be shocked, and amazed at what a nation witnessed just four days ago. The mold was finally broken and America saw something since it's birth had never witnessed, Barack Obama, an African American president. This in itself is an event that my history book always led me to believe would never happen, but in a bigger light, and a larger spectrum, the entire 2008 campaign trail is just something that I was taught,and allowed myself to believe was nearly impossible.

Perhaps if you asked my grandparents as adults in their twenties to imagine this: A primary with an African American male, A Caucasion male, and A Caucasion female. They would probably scoff at two of the three. Then further more if I just asked them to imagine an African American President, they might have said, "yeah, that would be nice...but simply unrealistic".

How shameful is that? We've all allowed our history books to embed us with the notion that things will always be the same. In what world does change not eventually happen? Yes, it may take time, maybe weeks, months, years, decades, or even centuries. But the point is, it happens, and our proof is the election.

It takes but one nation, one generation, one school, neighborhood, or individual to make a difference. And a difference is always possible. So, though my history books never taught me such a thing could happen, now I know. And one day when my child is sitting in school with a history book open, no one will ever be able to tell them that becoming president, or anything else, because of the color of their skin, or because of their gender, is out of reach.